someone get that fucking seahorse.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
