Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
