have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
