Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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