And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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