Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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