Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I had to cum in my sink.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
