Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
