This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
