in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
