I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
