Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
