I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
