i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i came on her dog
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
