i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
