I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
