I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
