Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
