whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
