I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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