I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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