:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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