I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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