He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
