i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
