That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
