I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
