So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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