: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
