worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
