i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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