My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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