You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
