Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
