I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
