are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
