it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
