similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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