yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Found the puke drawer
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
