Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
