I got chris browned last night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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