butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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