how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
