Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
