He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
