i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My penis needs a shock collar
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