Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
