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I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
