Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
