I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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